Tenley's Surgery

Tenley had her surgery today. Everything went as "well as it possibly could and very smooth" according to the Dr. Her retinas were both in good shape still and easy to re-attach. Now her body needs to accept it and re-generate the "signal" endings to her optic nerve and she should be able to see. :) She was given an 80-85% chance of success with her right eye, and about 50-60% for her left eye. I know you're all thinking the odds are in her favor.....but we don't look at it that way......not anymore. We've been told that everything was perfect so many times and then crushed later on. Adam and I always seem to be on the crappy end of statistics with everything, so we're trying to be optimistic, but I'll believe it when I see it. She's doing okay, but pretty out of it. She's taking after her mommy with the amount of drugs she has to take over the next 3-6 weeks. She has 3 sets of eye drops several times a day and 3 other medications during the day as well. Thank God it's all in writing.

Her eyes are sewn shut 1/3 of the way to protect them. She will be in her kennel whenever we're gone to keep her and Cooper seperated. She hasn't been in her kennel since she was 10 months old, so she's probably going to be pissed.....but will hopefully forgive us when she can see again in 4 weeks. :)

Cooper has been an angel. We were really worried because she's still so playful and VERY demanding. She is the definition of bitch....she's a cute bitch, but a bitch nonetheless. We thought for sure she would attack Tens when we got home to play. She has been the sweetest little dog. She hasn't touched her once, except to gently sniff her and kiss her cheek.....so sweet. Tenley feel asleep on the floor because she can't seem to get comfortable with her e-collar on her bed or the couch and Cooper has completely left her alone. We can tell she's concerned because she just sits in front of Tenley and stares at her in such a loving and concerned way. We are so relieved. Cooper is usually such a stinker so we are so proud of her!

I am still in a complete fog. I had a breakdown with Adam last night that I really needed. I've felt like I was drowning in bad news and heartache lately, and haven't been able to catch my breath. I felt much better after Adam held me while I sobbed for 2 straight hours last night. He is such a wonderful husband. Sometimes, I have to remind him that he's going through this too and he needs to grieve too. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. I feel bad that I just can't talk to any family / friends yet. I know they love me, and I can't explain why I handle things this way. I just feel like I'm okay one minute and as soon as I start thinking about it, I start crying. When I talk about it, I start crying. When I get an e-mail, I start crying and it just never ends. I'm in such a weak emotional state right now, that I need to try to get stronger before I can handle facing anyone else.

I talked to my CCRM nurse, Dawn, tonight. Our embryo transfer date will be Friday, April 24th. We will be in Denver the 23rd through the 28th. I'm not even excited. I'm terrified, sad, stressed and everything else that comes with your literal "last chance" at a biological child.

I just really wanted to let everyone know that Tenley's surgery went well and we'll know if she can see again in 3-6 weeks.

Thanks for being here,

Love,

T & A