Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Update and Last Post

Hi everyone,

Yes, I'm back for one final post. :) I have received so many e-mails etc. asking if everything was okay because you never heard another word from me after my last post at 16 weeks pregnant.

I realize it was a really crappy way of ending things...out of the blue like that and for that, I am truly sorry. My blog was originally started as a place where I could vent and share my emotions about what we were going through, and once it felt like things were finally looking promising for us with a healthy pregnancy, I freaked out and was afraid of jinxing anything. I also had so many followers who were still fighting to make their dream come true and it just felt wrong to be talking about how happy I was. Nobody understands what infertility feels like until you have walked through it and felt how much it hurts. It is such an open wound. I really had a hard time accepting that it was finally okay for me to be happy.....it was hard to disconnect from the Tiff I had become for 4 years of struggling to get pregnant...and becoming the pregnant, happy Tiff. It felt too good to be true.

We finally had a happy ending to our journey on December 20th when we delivered healthy twin boys at 37 weeks exactly. They weighed in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 5 lbs. 14 oz. I was HUGE. We feel more than blessed to be their parents and we promise not to take anything for granted. I look at them every day and even though they are 5 months old now, I still can't believe they're mine. Mine to cherish, protect and love unconditionally.

To all of my friends who are still on their journey to become parents. My heart and soul are with you. I pray EVERY day for God to make your dreams come true and for your lives to be blessed the way ours have been. Please don't give up. You will be parents one way or the other....biologically, through adoption, through surrogacy, through egg or sperm donors, through fostering......but one thing I know for sure.....when you hold your baby for the first time, you will forget about everything you have gone through to get to that point. It will all just melt away and you will feel whole again. You will feel love that you have never felt before. It will all have been worth it. Every shot, every tear, every night you cried yourself to sleep, every BFN, every blood test, daily trips to the doctor, every painful procedure, that feeling of betrayal by your body......it will never be completely forgotten or gone because it has shaped you to be the person you are, but it will be pushed aside and overwhelmed by the new feelings of happiness you deserve to feel. I wish that for everyone.

Thank you again to everyone for all of the love, prayers and support over the last 4 years. We love you!

T & A ( and the boys)

Monday, July 27, 2009

16 Week Belly Shot and Update

Well, I was officially 16 weeks as of yesterday! WooHoo!

I went to the Dr. today for my 4 month check-up. My cervix is nice, high and closed and I've gained 7 lbs. so far! She said I am right on track. :)

Baby A had a heartrate of 152 and Baby B had a heartrate of 150. It took awhile to get Baby B's because he/she was moving. :)

The funniest thing is that my belly is measuring equivalent to someone pregnant with just 1 baby at 24 weeks. :) I am going to be BIG by December. :)

Here is my belly pic:

Thanks for checking in and for the continued prayers!

T & A and the twins

Monday, July 13, 2009

14 Weeks Update & belly pic

I've sorry been a little MIA the last few weeks. There really just hasn't been much to report. I'm officially 14 weeks as of yesterday and officially in the 2nd trimester! WooHoo!

I had a lot of strange cramping on Friday so I called my Dr. and described what was happening. I had actually just called to talk to a nurse to make me feel better that it was normal, but when I decsribed some other symptoms I was having, she called my Dr. and they had me come in anyway. My Dr. told me they don't take any chances with twin pregnancies, and even if they don't think there is anything to worry about, they would rather be safe than sorry. She gave me the typical "there are a lot more complications associated with twins, so we want to see you ANY time you have odd symptoms again." I love my Dr. She actually has triplets of her own, and completely understands everything that comes with a high risk pregnancy. She said she's not just a Dr. ....she actually lived it too. It makes her very easy to talk to.

She checked my cervix to make sure it was still nice and closed etc. I also got to hear the babies' heartbeats. Baby A was 150 and Baby B was 159. They wanted them to be between 140-165 at this stage....so they were right where they needed to be. I go back to the Dr. in a few weeks for my 16 week check-up.

The big news is that I've gained about 3 lbs. so far! WooHoo! I had actually LOST a pound in the first 12 weeks and was a little worried about it, but my Dr. was not concerned. If you think about it, how could I have possibly gained any weight, when I had been throwing everything up, including water. So I gained about 3 lbs. in 2 weeks........and am expecting it to keep piling on. :) Adam was laughing at me that I was excited about gaining weight. He said it's odd to hear a woman actually excited to gain weight. My belly is getting bigger literally by the second.

As for how I'm feeling. I'm exhausted all the time and am peeing every 15 minutes, but other than that and the occasional bout of nausea, I feel pretty great. :) I am feeling a lot of "flutters" going on in there and they get stronger everyday. I swear I have felt a few kicks over the last week or so. I just can't wait for them to get more consistant and stronger.

I am including belly pics starting at 10 weeks, 12 weeks, and now yesterday at 14 weeks.

We are so blessed and so lucky to have all of you to share this with! Thanks again for always being here and for all the prayers.

I think of my friends who are still fighting to become mothers EVERY DAY and pray that they're dreams come true very soon.

Love always,

T & A and the buns

Thursday, June 25, 2009

12 week ultrasound

We had our 12 week ultrasound today! (I will technically be 12 weeks on Sunday)

Everything looked great! Baby A has a heart rate of 174 and baby B has a heart rate of 167.

They are both measuring right on track and were moving all over the place in there! I am definitely going to be getting kicked a lot when they get bigger! I can't wait :)

Baby A was being shy during his/her 3D picture and had their arms crossed over their face and their legs crossed.....like "don't take my picture." Adam thinks Baby A is a girl. :)

Baby B found their thumb at one point and started sucking on it. Too cute! Baby B was head banging too, so we're convinced baby B is a boy. :)

We did the NTS scan today where they give you your odds etc. of the babies having down syndrome and a few other abnormalities. They measure the fluid at the back of each babies neck and then prick my finger and compare a few things between the measurements, my age, and the blood work. We should get the results back in about 10 days. They measured GREAT though, so the ultrasound tech and the Dr. didn't seem concerned at all. They like it to be less than 3......anything over 3 can sometimes suggest an abnormality. Baby A was .8 and Baby B was 1....which they thought was excellent. Hopefully the blood work will come back low risk as well.

Here are a few pictures of the ultrasound!

This is Baby A - 3D being "shy." You can see the little arms in an X over their little face...and their little legs crossed too.

Baby A

Baby B - 3D - arms over face too....apparently these babies don't like getting their pictures taken. They better get over that real quick! :)

Baby B with his/her leg in the air.

Overall, it was a great day! I will post some 12 week belly pics on Sunday!

We feel so blessed right now and I thank God everyday for these precious gifts. Adam and I are cherishing every minute of this experience and are taking it one day at a time.

Thanks for always being here!

T & A and the buns

Sunday, June 14, 2009

10 Weeks Belly Pics

As promised, here is my 10 weeks belly! (I'm going to be huge, but I guess that's because there are 2 in there.) :)

As always, thanks for being here!

T & A (and the twins)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

High Risk OB Appointment

We had our appointment with the high risk OB today and it went very well! He was wonderful and very patient with us while we peppered him with questions......Questions including one from a very concerned Adam...."Will I ever get to have "relations" with my wife again?" To which the Dr. busted out laughing. Just one of the reasons I love my hubby so much, but I don't think he got the answer he was hoping for with all the issues I've been having. Poor guy. Oh well, he'll survive. (Can you hear the sympathy in my words?) ha ha.

I have had a few more bleeding scares since the ER visit and he could tell we were very concerned. He ordered us an ultrasound today and got us in right away.

We saw the babies today and finally got to HEAR their heartbeats!!!! It was so magical! Baby A has a heartrate of 176 and was wiggling around in there, and Baby B has a heartrate of 171 and was moving his/her little arms. I will be 10 weeks on Sunday and they are measuring on track and looking good! I would post the picture, but honestly, they still look like little blobs and the picture is not very clear.....I think the u/s tech was moving around when she snapped it because it's super blurry. I promise to post the 13 week ultrasound pics though!

They finally think they have located the source of the bleeding as well. I guess I have a small bruise where baby B implanted and it's working it's way out. It's outside Baby B's sack though, so it is no concern to the babies at all. Apparently it's pretty common and most women never even know they have one until they do an ultrasound. On the other hand, for some women, like myself, sometimes it tries to correct and heal itself which can cause bleeding and spotting. It feels so good to have a "probable" cause. They said it should hopefully heal itself by the 2nd trimester.

We went over everything from travel restrictions, pre-term labor, monitoring, diet when carrying twins, risks etc. A lot of scary information, but he kept re-iterating that he is giving us "worse-case" scenarios so we're as prepared as possible. As far as travel restrictions etc. he said it will be an appt. by appt. basis.

We are heading to Detroit to meet Amy's family over the 4th of July, which we are really excited about. He gave us the all clear, barring nothing bad happens at our next appointment before we leave, however we have to stop every 2 hours so I can walk around and stretch for at least 15-20 minutes. He also told me to listen to my body and if I'm tired, lay down and not push it. Fair enough. :) My energy level is pretty low these days, so I'll probably be a big party pooper, but we're just glad we can still go! Chelovich's, here we come! All 4 of us! :)

We talked about delivery as well and he said believe it or not, because of all the monitoring these days, about 80% of twin pregnancies make it to 37 weeks. They will not let me go past 38 weeks though no matter what, so if we make it to December 19th, they will ask Adam and I to pick the birthday and schedule the C-section that week. We would prefer to not be in the hospital over Christmas, so we'll plan on hopefully doing it on December 20th, being in the hospital for 4 days because of the C-section, and bringing the babies home on Christmas Eve!!!! How cool! :) Of course, God may have other plans on when these babies will come, but if we could "plan" it, that's what we'll probably do. :) What a Christmas gift!

So we'll have our next ultrasound around 13 weeks right before we leave for Detroit around July 2nd or so and then we won't have another one until our 20 week ultrasound.

As far as how I'm feeling, I'm definitely showing. It's not just bloat either, definitely babies. I will post a pic on Sunday at 10 weeks. :) Adam and I are excited to do a little maternity clothes shopping! (Well, let me rephrase, "I" am excited to do a little maternity clothes shopping, Adam will probably just come along to monitor my spending. :) )

My nausea and vomiting seems to come and go now, so I'm hoping and praying it's on it's way out! My lower back is killing me constantly because the Dr. said everything is stretching so fast, but he gave me the okay to use a heating pad periodically to help....which I am super excited about. I of course, asked him 8 million times if it was safe and he said since it was not on my abdomen and just on my lower back....it wasn't possible for a heating pad to even get hot enough to do any damage. Since I'm such a freak lately, I'll probably keep it on low anyway, but it's better than nothing! I've been craving apples and meat. I've never been a big fan of apples, but I can't get enough of them right now. I also haven't eaten meat since last November, but have become a carnivore again. There are probably 2 boys in there......causing me to want cheeseburgers, turkey and any other meat I can get my hands on. :) I'm exhausted all the time and literally have to lay down and take a 20 minute nap in the morning after taking a shower and getting ready. I'm THAT worn out.

Adam and I feel so blessed right now. We have so many friends who are still fighting to make their dream of becoming parents come true. We got lucky this time and we just pray that they all get their turn soon. Whenever I read of someone else's infertility struggles, my heart literally aches for them and the tears begin to fall. I have been there so many times in the last 4 years, crying myself to sleep while Adam held me, wondering why this was happening to us, not understanding and searching for answers. I still can't believe this is really happening to us and I am grateful beyond words for these little "miracles." (literally miracles)

These babies are already loved and cherished so much and I pray everyday that they keep growing and thriving until we can hold them in our arms in December.

Thanks for being here and for all the prayers!

T & A (and our 2 little miracles)
(and Tenley and Cooper of course. )

Thursday, June 4, 2009

First OBGYN Appointment

I was released to my OBGYN! WooHoo!

I went for my first appt. today after being released by my RE. It was actually a pretty uneventful appointment. Since I've already had so much monitoring and tests etc. all she did today was talk to me about delivering twins, answered questions and did some more blood work. I was kind of relieved since my cervix seems to be easily irritated, I really didn't want anything done that could upset it further. I've still had a few bouts of red bleeding.....but more spotting now, instead of bleeding like before our ER visit last week. My Dr. seemed completely unfazed by it and said that 1 out of 4 of all of her patients experience bleeding in the first trimester and are fine. She said it's actually about 50% of women carrying twins or more though, so that made me feel much better. :)

My official due date is January 10, 2010, however since it's twins, my "twin due date" is December 19th. (37 weeks) She said if you haven't already delivered, they will schedule a C-section at 38 weeks. (The day after Christmas!) Twin pregnancies are ALWAYS C-sections with her practice and I would be delivering at Delnor in Geneva. It's much riskier and stressful on the babies to try a vaginal birth because it's hard for them to turn etc. when they're sharing such a tight space with another baby, so they automatically do C-sections. I had hoped I would be able to at least try to deliver the old fashioned way, but I have so many friends who labored for hours, only to have a C-section anyway. To be honest, I would rather just do the C-section and be done with it. :) Plus, I want to do whatever is safest for the babies no matter what.

We don't have another appointment with my Dr. until June 29th, however since I am officially categorized as "high risk" we are meeting with their high risk OB, Dr. Pombar, next Thursday. He will determine when our next ultrasound will be etc. They monitor twin pregnancies more closely, so Dr. Pombar will explain what they will watch for etc.

All in all, it went well.

We are SO lucky to have all of you in our lives and we can't wait to share our journey to parenthood with all of you!!!!!

Please keep the prayers coming!!!!

Thanks for being here!!!

T & A (and the twins)