Last Shot

Is it wierd that I got emotional last night when I stuck myself for the last time? I never in a million years thought I would be sad about that....but I was. I just can't believe this is the end of the road for trying for a biological baby for us. Sticking myself with needles, doctor's appointments, surgeries, blood tests and procedures etc. has been our life for 4 years, that it's wierd to think about not doing that anymore.

I started my tetracycline tonight, which is quite the treat. I have to take it 4 times a day and it literally feels like it is tearing my stomach apart, piece by piece. The first time I had to take this medicine, I learned the hard way that you absolutely cannot take it on an empty stomach. I vomited and dry heaved all day and had to force myself to eat something to make it stop. It was miserable. I am still doing 4 estrogen vivelle patches every other day as well. I started the progesterone this morning, which is 3 times a day and am already starting my headaches that come with it...fun, fun. I also started my medrol tonight, but that's just once a day for the next 4 nights.....so not too bad at all.

I still can't believe we're leaving on Thursday. It's very surreal and to be honest, we're ready to get it over with. The transfer is always my favorite day, because I can say I am pregnant as soon as they put those little embabies back in my uterus and we bring them home....or back to the hotel in Denver this time.

I'm really excited that CCRM gives you a valium before the transfer. I've never had that before and have always gone without anything. My cervix is a pain in the butt and very uncooperative. You also have to have a full bladder during the procedure and they tell you to stay relaxed to make it go smoother........yeah right. I've never been able to relax for the other transfers so I'm hoping the valium will help. I mean, seriously, you try relaxing waiting for the embryologist to come in and tell you how many of your embryos survived and what quality they are, with a FULL bladder, with 8 people in the room, in stirrups, while they dilate your cervix while poking and prodding you with a metal catheter.......seriously, come on. Don't get me wrong, the transfer is by far the easiest part of the whole process.....but I think I just tell myself that because you're literally on adrenaline with excitement at that point. The day of the transfer you are PUPO.....in infertility language it means "Pregnant until proven otherwise."

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. We definitely need them. I can't thank all of my family, friends, and blog friends enough for all of your support while I'm being a "negative Nellie" as they call me at my old RE's office.

I went to church with my Mom this morning and I got a huge hug from Pastor Melinda. She married Adam and I and has known my family for a long time. She has been following our blog and sending prayers to the Big Guy upstairs for us, which means a lot. I'm hoping she has some kind of "in" with him that we don't have. :)

Thanks for being here!

Love,
T & A