Last BCP

I took my last birth control pill last night! WooHoo! So now I am only taking my daily "hate" injection. My bonus af should be here on Friday and then we are 3 weeks and counting until the transfer!

Adam and I decided to bring our adoption papers with us to Denver, so we can fill everything out and have it ready to go when we get the bad news on May 6th. I will be on bedrest Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so it will give us something to do when we're stuck in our hotel room and sick of movies, TV and reading.

I had a rough weekend. I had a dream on Friday night that I found out I was pregnant and Adam and I were SO ecstatic, but then I woke up, realized I was dreaming and started crying. We were supposed to go to a birthday party for our friend's 1 year old son that night and I just couldn't do it. There were going to be kids, babies and pregnant people there, and I know it sounds lame, but I emotionally could not have handled it that day. My friend Lauren and her husband, Paul were MORE than understanding and it was very appreciated. They are such great friends.

I've been a pretty crappy friend lately. I've been so secluded. People have been reaching out to me in phone calls, e-mails etc. and I've been so selfish. I really need to start getting back into the land of the living. Sorry friends!!!!!

So, okay, the lupron not only makes me crazy these days, but it makes me have the craziest dreams. I could seriously give Speilberg a run for his money with the dreams I've been having. None of them have been fun or happy....with the exception of the pregnancy one. I woke up this morning shaking because I had AWFUL gut-wrenching dreams last night. Just so you understand exactly HOW scary we're talking here.....let me recap a few of them.

The first entire dream talks about a guy who was murdered. It's like there was a narrator in my dream talking....a creepy voice. This guy and his wife were hanging at a friend's house, when the narrator cuts in and says "when he went to get something from the pantry, a pillowcase was thrown over his head and he was waiting to be killed." It cuts back to the wife who is now looking for her husband and can't find him. The narrator voice cuts in again and says "How scared would you be if you had a pillowcase shoved over your head and you were just waiting for them to kill you, but you didn't know how or when it would happen?" "What would you say to your husband if this was the last time you would ever speak to him and the murderers gave you that chance?" So I woke up...trembling.

I finally fell back asleep only to have a dream that I was at my Uncle Larry's funeral all over again. I couldn't walk or breathe because I was sobbing so hard in my dream. The funeral was outside in a huge park and when I went out there, I couldn't find my family anywhere and had to sit by myself. The rest of the dream was me trying to frantically find my family. Instead of waking up trembling this time, I woke up sobbing.

You would think I had taken a hit of acid before falling asleep or something.

On another note, Tenley took her last pill this morning. She's still on a ton of eye drops, but this oral medication makes her sooooo gassy. It's awful. She's a little bomb dropper and Adam and I argue over who she snuggles with on the couch. We are so relieved that these pills are officially over!!!! :)

She seems to be able to see big things. Today is 3 weeks post-op....so hopefully she'll regain her full vision in the next 3 weeks.

Thanks for being here!

Love,
T & A