So my arms and veins were feeling pretty neglected lately so I treated them to some bloodwork this morning. It was my first estradiol check since starting the lupron injections and Vivelle estrogen patches. 15 shots down, 9 more to go. Ugh....I hate lupron. CCRM called to give me my results and it was 328.....which she said is WAY above what they like to see....but that's a good thing, apparently. There really isn't a maximum at this point, just a minimum. I would normally be excited about this, but I'm super bitter instead. Woo hoo....way to go....yeah. The only time I will get excited about test results are when they result in a baby.....yet, those are the only tests that don't turn out to be perfect.......
When I went in this morning for my b/w and to see my FCI nurses...whom I love.....they were really sweet about everything. Since we're technically patients of CCRM and FCI just does our monitoring at this point, they didn't know what was going on. I filled them in about our one little quality blastocyst and how we're transferring all 3 of our little embryos....one from every Dr. we've seen. One from Dr. Morris, one from FCI and now the one from CCRM. It's like a smorgesborg of blastocysts. I'm sure I just butchered the spelling of Smorgesborg....but you figured it out.
I told them we're not feeling very hopeful and that we will be filling out our adoption paperwork while I'm on bedrest after the transfer.....they told me they understood why I was being a "negative nellie" so they would be my cheerleaders.
So, I can't believe our transfer is happening in 2 weeks. Our last "try" for a biological baby is happening in 2 weeks......that's if our little ice-babies even survive the thaw. Wow.....see how positive I am? Honestly, stick a fork in me, because I'm done. I'm done with all the needles and the drugs, done with all the hope and disappointment, done with the financial stress and done with the tears. Just done. I am so bloated, I could survive in the dessert for weeks with the amount of water I'm retaining. I'm like the pillsbury doughboy on hormones.
Thanks for being here!
Love,
T & A
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6 comments:
Ok just so you know, there are those of us out here stalking you and hoping for you. Here's praying that 4th times the charm.
Susan (somewhat crazy surrogate mother that stalks infertility blogs)
I know that it is SO hard to be positive amidst all of the previous disappointment and failed hopes. The best thing about blogworld is that you don't need to be positive because all of your blog friends are positive enough for you. You concentrate on doing what makes you happy and the rest of us will be the cheerleaders behind you rooting you on!:)
We are proud of you for taking the steps necessary to go as far as you can in your hopes of having a biological child. It would have have been SO easy for you to give up but you didn't - you and Adam are supporting each other through this difficult process.
There are no words that make it better, we know that, but we are thinking good thoughts for you - whatever the outcome and whatever your next steps look like.
Take good care of each other!
Steph and Jeanine
Littleton, Colorado
This will work, This will work, This will work. That is my motto right now! I am will be thinking of you over the next two weeks. We are IVF cycle buddies; but you will be in my thoughts especially! Thank you for your blog...I have an idea of what to expect!
Sorry, for some reason it posted Anonymous.
Still thinking of you... I hope you are still right on track. Hope you'll post an update soon. Transfer is supposed to be in about 10 days,right?
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